222 // HOW TO Make Room for Negative Emotions and Why Processing Anger is So Important From the Work of Susan Cain and Gabor Mate
It is easy to embrace positive emotions but how do we navigate and embrace the negative? Especially as we parent our kids? Day to day parenting kids leaves little space for processing emotions. Below are some tips for working through our anger and seeing the message that negative emotions can deliver to us if we are mindful.
For this episode we read The Myth of Normal by Dr. Gabor Mate as well as Bittersweet by Susan Cain and distilled tips from both to bring you a two part series on understanding and embracing your negative emotions.
Here are some further tips from Dr. Gabor Mate to discovering and working through negative emotions.
Finding acceptance of your emotions. Denying your emotions can hurt your physical and mental body. Let go of guilt and offer yourself empathy.
Explore root causes and triggers. This may be better achieved with the supportive help of a therapist.
Practice mindfulness; mindfulness involves being fully present and aware of your thoughts and feelings without judgment. This can help you feel grounded, even in the presence of painful emotions
Don’t numb; attempt to find a safe space to truly feel your emotions.
Seek support from trusted family and friends or a therapist.
Practice self-care. Prioritize sleep, eat healthily, engage in physical activity. Caring for self can help you feel more resilient and better equipped to deal with negative emotions.
Journal; Try setting aside time each day to write down your thoughts and feelings, including any anger you may be experiencing. Over time, you may notice patterns and triggers that can help you identify the underlying pain.
In this episode, we delve into why it's important to actually feel and process the difficult stuff, specifically the big emotion of anger. We know that flying off the handle in anger isn’t helpful, but neither is bottling it up. So where does that leave us? How can we process it in a healthy way? We use the work of Gabor Mate and Susan Cain to explore answers to this important question.
Related Episodes
Connection vs. Detachment: Fulfilling Our Own Needs Without Becoming Islands of Selfishness
Four Pillars of Wholehearted Parenting We Apply to Any Problem
Books and Links We Mentioned
Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole // Susan Cain
When the Body Says No: Exploring the Stress-Disease Connection // Gabor Mate, M.D.
5 Steps to Transforming Resentment
Hold on to Your Kids // Gabor Mate