225 // Becoming Embodied, How Authentically Feeling Can Heal Us: Exploring the Work of Gabor Mate and Susan Cain
Our bodies are intelligent. They are the home to our mind, spirit and psyche and are affected by our emotions whether we acknowledge them or not. Making the connection between our bodies and our emotions can lead us to a place of wellness and wholeness. This week we explore the mind body connection with the work of Dr. Gabor Mate (When the Body Says No). We also dive into how we can process those emotions and perhaps allow them to move through and heal us. Feeling pain is hard. There is no way around it. Oftentimes, we try to numb it or avoid it. We continue our conversation we started in episode 222 about negative emotions. How does the repression of negative emotions affect our bodies? We discuss grief and anguish and we wrestle with the concept of finding the balance in relationships between authenticity and attachment. Can we be true to ourselves and also have nurturing relationships? It’s a balance we all face.
Here are some of the questions we discuss that may be contributing to a build up of unprocessed negative emotions in your life:
1- In my life’s important areas, what am I not saying no to?
2 - How does my inability to say no impact my life?
3- What bodily signals am I overlooking?
4 - What is the hidden story behind not saying no?
5 - Where did I get these stories?
Related episodes:
216 // What Resentment Reveals and Understanding Envy
How to Process Jealousy and Resist the Gaping Pit of Comparison
Books and Links We Mentioned:
When the Body Says No: Exploring the Stress-Disease Connection // Gabor Mate, M.D.
Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole // Susan Cain
Kali Ma Meditation Felica Mentioned
Time Stamps
12:52 - Often our body signals to us that something is wrong emotionally
16:57 - It is the suppression of emotions that causes issues
17:46 - We can learn our body’s language––Ask your body!
21:00 - Include asking your body in your meditation
22:42 - A mantra for processing negative emotions “Stay open, let it hurt.”
25:48 - Metaphor for carrying heavy emotions and burning them
32:36 - Hindu goddess, Kali Ma, can eat fear, anger, negative emotions
34:30 - When we feel grief fully, we feel other emotions more fully
35:17 - Embodiment: feel with your body vs. thinking with your brain
37:07 - Coping with hard emotions through taking notes/being present
43:33 - Holding boundaries & saying no prevents emotional suppression
46:30 - 5 introspective questions by Gabor Mate, Myth of Normal
50:50 - Authenticity and attachment
54:15 - Can Authenticity and attachment peacefully coexist within?
58:23 - Study of 2000 women in unhappy marriages
1:01:53 - When you can be authentic AND not sacrifice attachment
1:05:06 - Moving forward VS. Moving on
1:07:06 - Empathy is a universal gift of pain, grief, or sorrow
1:08:13 - When it’s good, don’t forget the bad. When it’s bad, remember the good